PRAISE J3SUS!

For all of you God-fearing Christians who just feel like Satan is working his dirty business while you're using Windows or Mac OSX, Ubuntu has just the thing for you! Available for free download is their new open-source Christian operating system!

Apparently, this is much-needed relief for a terrified group of right-wing Christians who have had evangelical problems with current mainstream operating systems. Most of you probably already know the hilariously immature (or: hardcore Christian) accusations of Bill Gates and Microsoft being Satanic. Examples being:

Bill Gates and Microsoft: Proof that Bill Gates is the devil: The real name of Bill Gates is William Henry Gates III. Nowadays, he is known as Bill Gates (III), where III means order of the third (3rd). In converting the letters of his current name to ASCII- VALUES:

B - 66
I - 73
L - 76
L - 76
G - 71
A - 65
T - 84
E - 69
S - 83
I - 1
I - 1
I - 1
-------
666
-------
THE NUMBER OF THE DEVIL....

or another classic:

FOR THOSE FELLOWS WHO STILL HAVE THE OLD EXCEL '95 (NOT OFFICE '97) TRY THIS OUT:

1. Open a new file;
2. Scroll down until you see row 95;
3. Click on the Row 95 button, this will highlight the whole row;
4. Press tab to move to the second column;
5. Now, move your mouse and click on help THEN about microsoft excel;
6. press ctrl-alt-shift and click on the tech support button simultaneously;
7. A WINDOW WILL APPEAR WITH TITLE : THE HALL OF TORTURED SOULS... This is eerie ... it has doom style format and you can walk around the hall ... and on the sides of the walls are the names of the tortured souls...
8. NOW WALK UP THE STAIRS AND COME BACK DOWN, FACE THE BLANK WALL AND THEN TYPE EXCELKFA... this will open the blank wall to reveal another secret passage, walk through the passage and do not fall off... when you get to the end you will see something really eerie.. At this point in time, countless witnesses all over the world have verified this point... it's really an eye-opener. It could be a joke by MS Programmers or is it really? Wouldn't be surprised if Bill Gates is "The AntiChrist." After all, it was already foretold in the Bible that someone powerful would rise up and lead the world to destruction.

But I just came across this gem today, which made me almost fall out of my chair while laughing. Taken from the "Evolutionism Propoganda" section of Objective Ministries:

Take for example Apple Computers, makers of the popular Macintosh line of computers. The real operating system hiding under the newest version of the Macintosh operating system (MacOS X) is called... Darwin! That's right, new Macs are based on Darwinism! While they currently don't advertise this fact to consumers, it is well known among the computer elite, who are mostly Atheists and Pagans. Furthermore, the Darwin OS is released under an "Open Source" license, which is just another name for Communism. They try to hide all of this under a facade of shiny, "lickable" buttons, but the truth has finally come out: Apple Computers promote Godless Darwinism and Communism.

But is this really such a shock? Lets look for a moment at Apple Computers. Founded by long haired hippies, this company has consistently supported 60's counter-cultural "values". But there are even darker undertones to this company than most are aware of. Consider the name of the company and its logo: an apple with a bite taken out of it. This is clearly a reference to the Fall, when Adam and Eve were tempted with an apple by the serpent. It is now Apple Computers offering us temptation, thereby aligning themselves with the forces of darkness.

This company is well known for its cult-like following. It isn't much of a stretch to say that it is a cult. Consider co-founder and leader Steve Jobs' constant exhortation through advertising (i.e. mind control) that its followers should "think different". We have to ask ourselves: "think different than whom or what?" The disturbing answer is that they want us to think different than our Christian upbringing, to reject all the values that we have been taught and to heed not the message of the Lord Jesus Christ!

Given the now obvious anti-Christian and cultish nature of Apple Computers, is it any wonder that they have decided to base their newest operating system on Darwinism? This just reaffirms the position that Darwinism is an inherently anti-Christian philosophy spread through propaganda and subliminal trickery, not a science as its brainwashed followers would have us believe.

In other news, Mac keyboard buttons are lickable???!
Mine tastes like snozberries.