PLEASE TAKE THE SUNSHINE AWAY

100 degrees in New York today, without the heat index. 101 tomorrow. This is making the South feel like San Diego. Not only is it unbearably hot, but to go anywhere (including work), you have to saturate yourself in it. Sure, the south is hot. But only as hot as you want it to be. As far "behind" people in the Northeast say the south is from the rest of the country, there is one thing that all these fancy Ivy League pretty boys have not discovered. CENTRAL AIR. Which the south lives in.

Back home, you are constantly in the air conditioning. Inside your house or apartment. You leave, you get in your air conditioned car. You go into an air conditioned store. I've seen golf carts with air conditioning. Sure, the heat can get hot, but it's only as hot as you want it to be. Because you know at any moment, you can jump into some nice 70 degree air and cool off.

Not here.

The only place you will find decent central air is in a store, like Bloomingdales. And i've walked into the women's department plenty of times when getting off the train at 59th just to cool off. But the thing is, nowhere else has central air, unless you go shopping. No apartment buildings have central air, unless it's a new building, AND you're purchasing your one-bedroom $1mil space. Otherwise, you're stuck with a window unit, and fans. When you're in your apartment, you're used to it, and you can be comfortable (if you shed all clothing). But once you go outside, you're fucked. Sure, the thermometer reads 100 degrees, but that isn't close to an accurate portrayal of the heat. You have to add in the other factors. First, New York is one huge concrete block. Every sidewalk, street, and building emits all the heat outward off the concrete, like a giant oven. Kind of like those reflective silver things people put under their face when sunbathing. Second, there are all the cars, trucks, 18-wheelers and buses. Each one spitting out heat and exhaust. If you walk near a bus or truck, you'll feel about a 20 degree difference (and hold your breath, diesel exhaust isn't too healthy i'd imagine). Third, all the buildings dump their heat out onto the sidewalks where everyone walks. Most of this heat comes from A/C exhaust ducts. Or exhaust fans from restaurant kitchens and ovens. That's more heat. Fourth and finally, there is all the heat rising out of the subway grills in all the sidewalks. So when you walk over or by one of these, you have heat coming up onto you, building blowing hot air or emitting heat from the side. A bus blowing exhaust from the other side, and the sun blazing down from above. It's like a spray-on tan with heat! And the best part? Wearing jeans to work bc of their 'no shorts' policy.

So, enjoy your air conditioned lives, all my non-NYC friends.
As for me, I'll be changing my underwear 3 times a day.